the fellowship of the unashamed...

"I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made- I’m a disciple of his. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean in his presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and I labor with power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions are few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till he comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till he stops me. And, when he comes for his own, he will have no problem recognizing me... my banner will be clear!" --Brennan Manning

A sister shared this quote in sacrament meeting yesterday. It is truly powerful and show the type of commitment we need to make to live the gospel!

My Culture: Mormon-musician
 

My copy of the Book of Mormon

This book has been one of the things that has most shaped my life. Like the Bible it is a religious text that proclaims the gospel of Jesus Christ. Knowing its truthfulness has led me to do many things, like give up a year and a half of my life to tell people about it in a foreign language. It has taught me principles to live by such as faith in Jesus Christ, charity, and patience. These have guided me in my dealings with family and those around me as well as given me hope for the future. 


The Bassoon

Music has always been a huge part of my culture both secular and religious. The bassoon represents my dedication to music, because it has been an object of my study for 11 years now. But even before I took up bassoon, I liked singing with my family and at church.

My Laptop

This laptop is a symbol of the technological age in which I live. I use it everyday for school, work, communication, and just wasting time. It also has many useful tools for my music study.

surviving week one!

Well, It's been a week since I returned home from my mission. Things are quiet at home. My heart was torn in half to leave Canada and the people I have come to love, but there is much ahead of me to look forward to.

The adjustment has been hard, with many things competing for my attention--some better than others, but mostly good things. I have highly enjoyed getting to play with my nephew and getting to know my sisters-in-law. My relationship with my mother is better than ever :) but I still have my fair share of struggles.

When you go from putting all your attention on helping others and on the gospel to then having to think about yourself and your life and school and finding work and so on and so forth, it gets to be a little overwhelming. So many times I miss what I once felt as I put all my time and energy in the Lord's work, but I learned something from a few talks my mission president gave me before my departure. They speak of how that strong spirit we carried with us as missionaries doesn't have to get less, but can really grow and we can continue to experience immense spiritual growth. It comes from the habits we form as missionaries: early  daily exercise and scripture study, service to others within and without a calling, obedience to God's commandments, disciplining our minds to think of only good things, ceasing to be idle, opening one's mouth to share the gospel--if I but strive to continue those precious things I started, then I can continue to grow and serve. That Spirit doesn't have to diminish! I can continue to grow! That thought has kept me from breaking down this last week as well as the support of my family. It gives me hope.

And that spirit has continued as I have striven to put my attention in the things that are most important and to find things to work towards. Staying busy doing good things has been essential to my survival and as I have looked for opportunities to serve, they have come. I urge any who may read this to do likewise. Look for the best things and cease to be idle. Live each day to the fullest, loosing yourself in the scriptures and in service. Pray for those opportunities and they will come. Pray to see the Lord's hand in your life and your eyes will be open.

treasure above...

Dear family,
This has been a rewarding week...and a rewarding year and a half :).
We had two investigators at church yesterday and a less active who hasn't been to church in years--Jose! The Lord truly blessed us.
Juanita started saying yesterday that she wants to stay with us in the church. She wants to be a part of it! So tonight we're setting the goals with her to make that happen! Woot! If someone had told me a month ago that she would have this sort of change, I may not have believed it. The Lord works miracles, and I think a huge part of it was the member support she's been receiving. She's in very good hands:)
The other investigator is someone new named Ricardo. He arrived a little late but highly enjoyed the service and the experiences shared by the speakers. We taught him the restoration and he accepted a date and is set to come to church next week! He'll do well. He will get along just fine with the other recent converts like Fernando and William.
Fernando, the recent convert, just received a calling to serve in the young men's! Woot!
And Jose is progressing so well. He knows what he needs to do and he's starting to do it. It's been amazing to watch him go through the repentance process. The ward is being very supportive of his return :) I am so grateful to have been privileged to help him start that process by reminding him, but it was the Lord who prepared him and is cleansing him. The Lord works miracles. They have not ceased. And they will never cease as long as there is faith :)
I am going to miss these wonderful people of Toronto. I have come to love them so very much. There's nothing like it--the love you gain, the work, the people, the change in yourself. I love my mission!
We'll see you all soon! And congrats to Jacob and Athena! YAY!!! I'm so excited for you :)
I love you!
Signing out ;)
Love,
Hna. Cottam

sprint to…

dear family,
This week has picked up a little from last week. We found a new investigator! Her name is Maricruz. She's been hard to get ahold of since we first met with her but we have another appointment for tonight so we'll do our best to help her progress:)
Last Thursday we had skills and interviews with the president and it really made me think again about our investigators. Are they not progressing because they don't understand or because they just aren't ready? I know that as we start to drop those who are truly not ready, which I feel may include Raul and Salvador, the Lord will put more people in our path who are, as long as we take every opportunity to talk to the people we meet and invite them and to be prepared to teach them. Actually we have already started to see it. Salvador couldn't meet with us this week so we have time to teach our new investigator Maricruz. There are prepared people out there. We just have to do what it takes to find them and invite them and do all we can to help them. Just as there are many prepared, there are many who aren't. We have to go by prayer to know the difference.
We have a many potentials for this week that we are super excited about :)
I love you all!
Make it a great week!
Love,
Hna. Cottam
p.s. don't send any more snail mail :) Thanks!

ooweee! let it snow! (this is from today)

Dear family,
we received 25 cm of snow thursday and friday!!! Yay! I love it! but it's starting to melt off now. Traffic was horrible those days and we got to help someone move their stalled car through an intersection.
This week has been kind of tough because we've had many an appointment fall through because of snow, work, etc. But it ended very well with a miracle or two:)
We went to church not expecting anyone to show up. None of our investigators had said they would make it. As we were talking to a member in the hallway who do we see but Juanita! I never expected her to give it another chance, but here she was striving to be more open to the church instead of comparing it all with another church she liked so much. She came with an open heart and was edified by the meetings. We found out that Sis. Cote had invited her to the stake dance Saturday. She went and enjoyed it and had promised to come to church the next day. She told us she turned off her phone so that her work couldn't call her to come in and came to church! Miracles happen every day! And especially when we strive to be obedient. We've been working on a couple of little things in order to be more obedient and the Lord has blessed us. Obedience brings blessings. Exact obedience brings miracles.
just a side thought. I was actually thinking about obedience a while ago and how it would apply into the rest of my life. After seeing members who have fallen because of disobedience to the commandments I understand a little more as to why. The promises we make in the temple are so very sacred. When you break one of those the consequences are severe, just as breaking mission rules, because you make the promise to abide by them. The discipline one learns as she or he keeps these simple mission rules will serve them for the rest of their lives by giving them the discipline to keep those sacred covenants that we make in the temple and it will help one keep a more sacred lifestyle as they strive to apart themselves from the things of the world like in media choices, etc.
Back to Juanita, now that she has overcome the challenge of not liking church we want to focus on the Book of Mormon and word of wisdom and do our best to help her set a date to be baptized and become a part of the Lord's church.
Most of our other investigators are not progressing. We dropped Ambrosio--can't accept the Book of Mormon. If Salvador doesn't change in his opinion we will be dropping him soon as well. Raul needs something but we're not sure just what. He is having a hard time just getting to the chapel. Because he didn't come yesterday we'll have to set his date back again. We may try teaching him in the church to help him just set foot there and break that ice.
We also had a wonderful lesson with Jose the inactive. We brought the bishop to the lesson so they could get to know each other and the bishop could offer his help. yay bishops!!! (love you dad;) It went really well. Very soon we'll see him in the chapel again :) It's been beautiful to see him working within the repentance process so far. He's so very close.
Other than that we're doing well. We have a couple of potentials for this next week and are looking for many more:)
Love the work. Have a great week!
Love,
Hna. Cottam

The Lord’s work (from February 4, 2013)

Dear family,
I've been pondering a lot the last couple of days, because I really want to help someone be baptized this month, but each person I put my hopes on doesn't seem to follow through. But I'm realizing that my focus is tweaked the wrong way. It's not about "me getting a baptism because I'm going home" or "to reach standards". Why am I doing this work? It's not for recognition or to say "I baptized so many people!" It's the Lord's baptism. It's the Lord's work. I cannot seek something so precious because I want the credit or because it will make me feel more successful. We are but tools and instruments in HIS hands. It's not mine or ours or hers or his. It's the Lord's. They are God's children and He's the one who is preparing them. What I must do is not wait for something to happen or for some golden person to drop into our laps. It won't ever work, because we won't be ready. I must instead focus on making myself the instrument that God needs. I have to sharpen the skills God has given me and depend on the Spirit. I have to purify and smooth the lumps and worldly imperfections so I can be but a window to His love. It's up to the investigator to do the listening and the spirit does the converting. We but show them the way and they go up themselves. I guess that's why the last two baptisms I've seen I had very little to do with the teaching. The Lord wanted to show me something and now He's calling me to realize it and to purify myself so I can do the work He called me to do. Maybe I will see one more through those waters; maybe not. But I can be fully satisfied with my work when I put the Lord and His work above myself. I just have to do everything I can and pray with faith. He knows what He wants. He knows what they need. And if I can but internalize this principle humility, then it will be the best thing I could ever learn and my joy will be full.
Sometimes I question myself because I feel like every time I am put as the senior companion the baptisms stop. I question if I am the cause. But then I remember that it's not about me at all. I just have to lose myself and trust in the Lord, and His purposes will be fulfilled.
Anyway, I hope you don't mind the rant. It's just been on my mind lately.
Raul is still not coming to church. He still has a lot of interest and knows that these things are good for him. We think their may be something more keeping him from coming and are praying to find it out.
We found one new investigator Gustavo. He was found through ESL. He accepted everything pretty well, doesn't understand that God has just one church quite yet, but is willing to read and pray to find out. :)
We have a number of potentials coming this next week! The Lord's work continues.
I love you all so much!
Make it a great week.
Love,
Hna. Cottam

how firm a foundation (from January 28, 2013)

Dear family,
Fear not I am with thee Oh, be not dismayed,
for I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand
upheld by my righteous,... omnipotent hand.
That hymn has been playing in my head a lot this week, so I thought I'd share it. It's so true that Jesus Christ is our sure foundation. He has been my foundation so many times as I have learned to trust in Him and I have seen it time and again in the people I have met and served with, including my new companion.
Her name is Hna. Barron. She's a fireball missionary and works hard. She's from Houston, TX with a mexican background. She is a convert of 4 years to the church! Her spanish is coming along and she has a super strong testimony :) I am loving training her this transfer! It's been such a help to keep me focused and to keep my shoulder to the wheel 100%. The Lord knows what we need and is ever mindful of us. He knew that we needed to serve together and he knows what we need to hear and who we need to meet.
This week has been a week of finding and learning and talking to people like crazy. We found out that Adriana, the one with two little kids, went back to Mexico this week.
We did teach a new investigator the night Hna. Barron arrived :) His name is Salvador. We taught him just before English class and it went well. We have another appointment with him tomorrow. He will have a challenge with coming to church because, like so many others, he works on Sunday.
We taught Raul the sabbath day this week. It went well and he understands. He said it gave him cause to think and to think a lot about faith. He did not come unfortunately this sunday. We will be working hard to help him increase his faith so that he can keep that commitment.
We also taught a potential who is the daughter of a member. She came to church this week and has been reading in the book of mormon a lot recently (as well as the pamphlets that the Jehovah's witnesses leave).
And we witnessed a miracle Saturday night. We were trying to contact a former investigator and had just left the house when a woman passes by who looked spanish. I asked if she spoke spanish and she did and said she was a member and invited us in. She hadn't been to church for a while and we committed her to come the next day. It was an answer to her prayers. The bishop had just visited her this last week and she was trying to decide if she should go to church or with her friend. When she saw us, she knew :) The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Make it a great week!
Love,
Hna. Cottam

transfers and newbies (from January 21, 2013)

Dear family,
With the influx of missionaries this transfer there are many people who will be training, including both me and my companion. We split up tomorrow to each receive our new missionaries fresh from the MTC! Who knows, there may be some 19 and 18 year olds :) I will stay here in Christie and Hna Varley is going over to the YSA ward. I'm sad to part with her. It's been a wonderful transfer. I'm a little worried about how I'm going to train this new missionary in only 5 weeks, but I know the Lord will make it possible. Great things are ahead!
We had one new investigator come to church yesterday--Ambrosio. He is a former pastor and immediately wanted us to come back when we knocked on his door. He's been a bit lonely lately and loved coming to church. He said it was peaceful and enjoyed the service. He hasn't been attending his church because of the new pastor. He doesn't get along with him. We pray that he can feel the truthfulness of this message. He said he has read some from the book of mormon before and prefers the Bible--and only the Bible. So we'll work with him on that. There are a couple of members who also struggled with that, so it will be good.
We have many appointments set up for this next week with some good potentials. It will be a good first week for us, though we've heard it's going to be REALLY cold. Raul still is having a hard time getting out to church. He works most sundays. But he continues to read and pray and likes what we teach. He has a new date for February 10th.
There's much to look forward to as we finish out this transfer and bring in the new!
Make it a great week!
Love,
Hna. Cottam

Changes and miracles (from January 14, 2013)

Dear family,
First of all I want to share some of the exciting growth that will occur in our mission because of the age change :)
From this week's letter from our mission president:
"Over the next few weeks and months our mission will grow from about 205 missionaries to 285 missionaries. That growth is unprecedented and exciting but it will require the help and cooperation from everyone in the mission....

"We will be opening up about 40 new areas. That will be exciting and create wonderful opportunities but it will also create unique challenges that will require flexibility, self reliance, and cooperation from each of us. If you get to an area and find that you don’t have everything you need please be creative and improvise until additional arrangements can be made. There will also be more white wash areas so keep good records and make sure that you leave each area better than you found it so the next missionaries can get off to a fast start.

"Due to language, gender, or other issues, we will have some missionaries training after being in the field only 5 weeks. We will also have some trainers training more than one missionary at a time. They will need our help. Do everything you can to encourage and lift those that will have extra responsibilities. 

"This recent change in the age for missionary service is another testimony that the Lord is hastening his work. As we enthusiastically embrace these changes the mission will see growth and blessings that we could not have anticipated when we first received our calls even a few months ago. What a blessing to be serving during this historic time. The Lord must have known we were capable of handling these changes because he chose our time to lower the age of missionary service. You are literally making history. What an opportunity! The Lord will bless us. This is His work. He knows what needs to be done. We just need to be humble and willing to do His will."

Secondly, We have had a good week. We witnessed a wonderful baptism of someone the elders taught. He has mad so many changes in 3 short weeks and they are working to get him to the temple to do baptisms with the ward next week along with almost all of our other recent converts! Yay :)

We had a true miracle happened yesterday. We taught a man named Diego almost two months ago and then he disappeared and we weren't able to get in contact with him. He didn't answer the phone and the only information on his address we had was the street name. Yesterday we decided we were going to go find him so we set aside some time to go knock his street (thankfully it's not a very big one :). We got to the end of the road and said a prayer and started knocking. We had a lead here and one there on where spanish people lived. after about half an hour one lady told us that the house next to the white one across the street may have a spanish family. We knocked one side. He wasn't interested. We knocked the other and it was a portugese couple. They weren't interested in the message but they told us they did know of a spanish man across the street in the basement who was from the same country as Diego. We decided to try it out. We knocked and the first thing the man says is, "Diego isn't here". Our jaws dropped. We found out that Diego indeed lived there and that he had told the man a little about what we had taught him. We set up a time to come back when Diego would probably be home and left. We said a prayer of thanks right there in the drive way. As we walked away, what to our surprise but to see the man himself, Diego walking down the street toward us. He asked us where we'd been and said he's been reading the book of mormon almost everyday. We set up an appointment for tuesday and left even more amazed and grateful than before. The Lord works miracles when we have a little faith :D Not only did we find another potential investigator but also the man himself.

The Lord's work continues! We also have found 3 new investigators this last week and plan to find many more :)

Make it a great week!

Love,

Hna. Cottam

it's about the gospel... (from January 7, 2013)

Dear family,
This week we have been struggling in finding new investigators. One fun thing we want to do to find more is to put out a ton of ESL flyers these next two weeks, 25/week to bring in some more students who are ready for the gospel. It's been a trial these last couple of weeks as we search and pray for those who are waiting and ready. But it has helped me focus in again on our purpose and why we do this, why we look for them, why they need what we have. It's all about the gospel that brings life and light to our lives. It was wonderful to see two of the recent converts in Christie exercise their priesthood to bless the sacrament this Sunday and to see another receive it. The work continues and it's worth it.
We have lost contact with Roberto the last few days but we hope it is just because of work. We continue to try to contact him and passed by last night. He nor Raul came to church and Angelo decided he wasn't ready to be baptized, that he has some things he needs to leave in the past. We have discontinued to teach him for now. We have an appointment with Raul this week to teach him more. We shared with him "Finding Faith in Christ" and know that he was touched by the spirit. We have high hopes for him. He won't make it to the 20th now but we will continue to work toward a new date :)
Angela has contacted us! We are excited to teach her again starting tonight. We plan to teach the first half of the plan of salvation and help her make the choice to follow our savior.
We are looking forward to helping many more come unto Christ.
I love you all so much!
Love,
Hna. Cottam

bringing in the new year! (from January 2, 2013)

Dear Family,
Happy New Year!!!
It was amazing Getting to read and finish the book of mormon this holiday season. We had to read like crazy the last 2 chapters to finish it on time (and with a little adjustment of the clock ;) haha :D) My favorite part was the last prayer, though. There was a powerful, sweet spirit as we put Moroni's promise into action. Oh, it was beautiful. And as we asked Fernando about it after, he said that he felt a little more complete, having finished it.
It was a beautiful way to finish out the old and bring in the new year.
Roberto continues to progress. We met with him last night at a member's house. He is loving what he is learning and has started to feel the lessening of stress (the peace) that the message brings to our lives. One of his resolutions for the new year is to keep the word of wisdom :) It is wonderful to work with him. He is a testimony that you never know who is ready and that we should talk to everyone, no matter if it's in the grocery store or on the bus.
We had a former investigator come back this last week. Juanita injured her shoulder so she hasn't been working much the last few days and looked up Sister Cote, one of the members we brought to a lesson. Sis. Cote has been wonderful in fellowshipping her this week and helping her get to church (for the first time!!!) and understand better the restoration. Juanita received a blessing from the elders for her shoulder and wants to read more of the book of mormon and start coming to church. We haven't been able to set another appointment with her, but we hope to very soon!
Something Hna Varley and I studied this morning ties in really well with the new year. It's from a talk about the fourth missionary, written by a mission president some years ago. He tasks in the beginning of it whether we really think about who we want to become. There are two ways to become something--to let it come accidentally or to plan it. If we let it happen accidentally, we will never reach our potential. We must think about who we want to be, when stripped of everything else--car, house, family, career. Who are we? How do people feel when they are around us? Are we becoming more like Christ? That's what we have to plan for. We make goals and plans so that we can become the best we can.
May we all work to that goal!
Love,
Hna. Cottam
Pics: The zone right after finishing the book of mormon read-a-thon! The Toronto Stake Center where we read during the new year. Us and fernando and a random Korean elder--Book of Mormon!!!

a few more pics (from December 27, 2012)

Pics of the read-a-thon group, a Christmas dinner with all the ward missionaries :)

looking to the new year (from December 27, 2012)

Dear family,
It was so good to talk to you all on Tuesday! Thanks for all the letters and gifts. The socks are perfect and the cd's are wonderful :) and the dried fruit is delicious for our read-a-thon ;) I showed the Stephen's hot chocolate to Pres. Scott (he and sis. Scott stopped by for an hour at our read-a-thon) and he was excited (he was ceo of the company before coming to canada :))
the pics are our little christmas tree with the presents, the Book of Mormon Read-a-thon (we got exactly half-way in 14 hours and we'll finish it new year's :), Fernando--a recent convert who joined us for the read-a-thon and gave us christmas stockings :)
And hey it finally snowed! about 10-15 cm last night. :) now it feels like winter.
We had a wonderful christmas dinner with the Najera family Christmas night after spending the morning reading the book of mormon and then talking to you all.
We have a very promising progressing investigator! His name is Roberto. He's from Mexico and Hna. Ence got his number just before she left this area. We called him up last week and set up an appointment. Taught him the restoration and he accepted a baptismal invite. He's set for the 13th of January! He came to church Sunday and we met with him again last night to teach him the plan of salvation and the word of wisdom. He's doing well, keeping his commitments and has such a sincere desire to be cleansed of his sins and leave it all behind. We're excited to continue working with him. And a testimony to me that the Lord knows what he needs is that when we arrived at the church for our lesson, there was another member (Hno Cruz) there who agreed to come into the lesson with us and he and Roberto got along really well. The Lord is mindful of each of His children and their needs.
We continue to look for new investigators and seek the Lord's inspiration on how to help those we continue to teach. I have come to love this work so much! I love being a missionary and helping those around us, now more than ever. I have many things yet to improve, but I know I can do it with the Lord's help. Sprint to the end! Always in the Middle :)
I love all yous guys! (some canadians say yous guys instead of ya'll. hehe:)
Sincerely,
Hna. Cottam
And have a very happy New year! Say hi to all the family for me :)

Regocijad! Jesus nacio! (from December 17, 2012)

This is Jesse, Rachel’s and Rebekah’s brother. I’m sorry to all of you who read these blog posts that I haven’t been posting them lately. I am catching up right now. I am really sorry.

Dearest family,
Adriana's doing a bit better.  A sister in the ward is helping her with her childrens' passports and she came to church for a little bit yesterday! It was so good to see her.
Hna. Varley and I have been having a great first week together. We get along really well. She served in this area at the beginning of the year so she already knows most of the people, which is a wonderful plus :). The word is that a lot of new missionaries (the first young batch :)) are coming in this next transfer (or the one after, i've heard both) including about 20 sisters :) It's an exciting time.
William was confirmed yesterday and even gave a little talk in sacrament meeting (it was missionary work sunday so he bore his testimony :) He's doing really well.
Almost all of our recent converts were at church yesterday and Angela also came--very late, but she was there! She starting to settle in to her new place. We taught her grandmother--Azucena--and her on Monday night and it went well. Then we stopped by during the week. Azucena has been reading but Angela is still having trouble finding the time. She said she will make a greater effort despite of the craziness at her job right now.
We taught Herbert this last week with a member. He loved that we had her there. He said it helped him understand since she had been catholic and he is catholic. His main challenges are getting to church and stopping smoking, but there is sufficient time for him to do both and make it to the 6th. :)
As Christmas approaches, don't forget what it's all about! (and if you've forgotten go to mormon.org and take a peak :))
I love you all so much and I'm excited to continue the work of the Lord here in Canada.
Love,
Hna. Cottam
Pics: William's baptism, including the elders who were originally teaching him, transfers--we just switched companions :), Fernando (amazing recent convert) and us at the ward christmas party.