Well, It's been a week since I returned home from my mission. Things are quiet at home. My heart was torn in half to leave Canada and the people I have come to love, but there is much ahead of me to look forward to.
The adjustment has been hard, with many things competing for my attention--some better than others, but mostly good things. I have highly enjoyed getting to play with my nephew and getting to know my sisters-in-law. My relationship with my mother is better than ever :) but I still have my fair share of struggles.
When you go from putting all your attention on helping others and on the gospel to then having to think about yourself and your life and school and finding work and so on and so forth, it gets to be a little overwhelming. So many times I miss what I once felt as I put all my time and energy in the Lord's work, but I learned something from a few talks my mission president gave me before my departure. They speak of how that strong spirit we carried with us as missionaries doesn't have to get less, but can really grow and we can continue to experience immense spiritual growth. It comes from the habits we form as missionaries: early daily exercise and scripture study, service to others within and without a calling, obedience to God's commandments, disciplining our minds to think of only good things, ceasing to be idle, opening one's mouth to share the gospel--if I but strive to continue those precious things I started, then I can continue to grow and serve. That Spirit doesn't have to diminish! I can continue to grow! That thought has kept me from breaking down this last week as well as the support of my family. It gives me hope.
And that spirit has continued as I have striven to put my attention in the things that are most important and to find things to work towards. Staying busy doing good things has been essential to my survival and as I have looked for opportunities to serve, they have come. I urge any who may read this to do likewise. Look for the best things and cease to be idle. Live each day to the fullest, loosing yourself in the scriptures and in service. Pray for those opportunities and they will come. Pray to see the Lord's hand in your life and your eyes will be open.